Years ago, my family and I went to one of our favorite restaurants in the area. The food and fellowship were amazing.
However, the table was in a horrible spot - right in front of the women’s restroom. Intermittently, we would make space and exchange awkward social courtesies with people going in and out of the restroom.
The truth is, no one wanted to sit at that table. It was awkward and socially uncomfortable.
When I reflect on this, the people and the food weren’t the problem. The problem was the position of the table; it was in the wrong place. Because of that, it wasn’t welcoming or inviting, and people avoided it.
The past three weeks, we’ve used the table as a metaphor for shared spaces, relationships and systemic realities surrounding mental health. We’ve talked about recognizing what people bring to the table (week one), being mindful of what we bring ourselves (week two), and the importance of welcoming others and making room (week three).
As we move into the last week, we have to ask a deeper question: where is the table?
Even if we recognize the invisible things people bring to the table (week one), contribute to the table (week two), and welcome people and make room at the table (week three), if the table is in a bad spot, everyone is naturally going to avoid it.
Unfortunately, this is often what happens when it comes to the mental health conversation. The table exists, but it’s often the last table that anyone wants to sit at. Often, this leaves individuals and families that are impacted by mental health challenges and conditions sitting at the table in the margins.
There’s a quote I love that says, “nothing changes if nothing changes.” If we recognize that conversations and people impacted by mental health are put in the wrong place (marginalized), what should we do about it? We need to move from recognition to relocation – we have to move the table.
One of the key elements when it comes to moving the table is awareness. Did you know that in Montgomery County there is just one mental health care professional for every 1,600 people? This is nearly four times the state average (one for every 400 people). When this is combined with barriers of public transportation, long wait lists and lack of robust services, we can begin to clearly see some of the things that keep the table in the wrong place.
For many individuals who struggle with mental health conditions and challenges in Montgomery County, this means they often don’t have transportation to appointments if they reach out for help. Even if they do have transportation, sometimes they have two or three months to be able to see a mental health care professional.
Becoming more aware of the barriers allows us to ask different questions. When we ask different questions, we look for different answers. This leads us from awareness to advocacy.
Advocacy simply means support - the ways we can use our voice, our hands and our presence to help move the table. Advocacy can be using your voice to raise awareness, using your hands in partnership with local organizations through volunteering, or simply being willing to sit at the table.
It’s been said that the value of a society can be measured by how it treats its most vulnerable members. Mental health - and the individuals and families impacted by it - shouldn’t be treated like the table next to the restroom. By actively raising awareness and engaging in advocacy, we help relocate the table to its proper place - alongside all of the other tables.
The table won’t be moved overnight, but it can be moved. When that happens, we begin to see what people are really bringing to the table, we can get more comfortable contributing what we have, and we can all work together to invite people and make room at the table.
